♫ Friday, August 12, 2005
Came back for work le!~!~ Mabbe yest night didnt have enough slp that's y my eyes abit red and painful now...
Lots of issues happen to me... one thing is im upset and disappointed when the holiday plans i want to go with dear get rejected by him... Actually we cfm going holiday during oct (thaliand)
But i got this NDP voucher on going to genting for $40! so i was thinking y not! i mean hotel and travel included but dear says dun wan... ok loh... sad awhile....
Den later suddenly i thinking to go KL during X'mas time to holiday as well as shop as well to celebrate X'mas there and mabbe my birthday as well...but dear says dun wan also...
So i also not happy and sad as well.... Disappointed oso... so i cried...
During this period, dear stay by my side..After an hour or so... i abit okie le...so i listen to him talk.. wad he say to me i dun thinki will ever forget...
He says "i dote on you very much do you know? But some things i cant afford to give you. When i cant give you what you want, i feel that i am very useless"
The things he cant afford to give me isnt money or gifts or anything that money can buy... is the freedom to spend time with me...the freedom to call me as his own...
The reason being his unreasonable mum... He cant afford to tell her that he is going holiday with me alone... For our thailand trip, his two frens are joining us so he can be able to cover through...
I remember once mabbe last dec, i wanna ask him go genting trip with me...He was uncertain too... FOr his mum part, for ur info, his mum is the 1st kind of mum that i have nv met until now. She doesnt want my bf to have any gf now, saying he is too young...
What she plans for him is that.. "28, 29 years old get a gf den abt 30+ get married" Harlo auntie this isnt something that u can get even if u wanted! And she oso treats his two older sis the same thing... So everytime she will always try to make trouble out of nth... And she insisted all the family members eat dinner at night.. so even when my bf miss the dinner time and had dinner outside, when he went home, he also must eat...And everything she wants it in her way...
And the most farking pro abt her is that when she is not happy over any of the family members, she will not speak to the person! i mean auntie u so old le and u still behave like that! For example, regarding the genting trip, i told him that he can tell his mum he is going with frens but he doesnt want coz he want to go holiday happily..not worrying whether his mum will find out that he is actually going with me. so he tell his mum abt it... His mum got so angry with him that i think for the next few months she didnt tok to him!
The latest issue is that now his mum quarrel with his sis and dad and as usual she didnt speak to them as well... my bf told me that he overheard his mum toking to his dad something abt when my bf finish his NS, she will settle their own problems and mabbe she will get a seperation and goes back to live in malaysia.
Not that i wan to say bad things about my bf's mum.. and i admit that sometimes im also very selfish and evil... I told dear that when he told me abt his mum wanna go back malaysia, i was like thinking "Yes yes, good good go back to malaysia and leave us alone!" hahaZ! very bad hor? but fark man! and frankly speaking, if his mum is another mum, all of us will live happily ever after...(that includes his dad and two sis and us)
dont be mistaken, my bf isnt some sort of mummy's boy or wadever.. my bf's character is like - If he can avoid it, he will not do it so as not to have more trouble... it is not nice having ur mum not speaking to u for a few months right?
But for my sake, i think he already trying his best to meet my demands even though the result of it might be receiving a terrible nagging from his mum!
I have alot of expectations for our r/s. basically, i wan to spend alot of time with my bf... In the earlier part of our r/s, i couldnt understand why must he always leave before dinner time just to get home for dinner? Coz i never had this problem myself, just tell ur mum dun cook ur share can le mah... But his mum? no she wouldnt listen...
So becoz of tis, i always get angry with him and all that...i always ask him to spend more time with me! But now, i noe that he is trying hard to do that le so im also trying hard to be content also...
His mum is a monster to me... really* In my mind, everything abt her is bad...actually sometimes when the both of us is unhappy over his mum, i will think of calling her up telling her that her son is MINE! haha! but i haven got the guts to do that of coz but im not a person who can be push around... My bf is a "everything also OK guy" so if what he does makes u happy he will do it one even if he doesnt like it very much la...
But im different, i am not the girl next door and dont expect me to give in to anything if i dont want to. You cant make me do that and if u wan to quarrel with me, no problem, i will shout back at u also... see who wins la! IF u make me mad, then i will take ur son away from u! (just kidding for this sentence la.. haha*)
Aniwae, i am not sad or upset or unhappy... is just that i suddenly got this whole thing to write abt and sorry people if this is too long for u guys to swallow.. haha...
Will you come? 9:35 AM
